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Dating your friend's best friend

My best friend and I have been besties since the fourth grade. She was with this guy for four years, up until early May of this year, when he suddenly decided to break up with her. I started hanging out with him about two weeks later, at first thinking I was just being someone to talk to. Well, me and this guy started sleeping together about two weeks ago and we're crazy about each other. My feeling is that she would be very hurt, but at the same time I don't want to pass up a chance to be with someone who could turn out to be the love of my life, you know? So a part of me wants to tell her in the hopes that she would be happy for me, but when I put myself in her shoes hearing this news, I think I'd be devastated.

Dating your friend's best friend

Dating your friend's best friend

I'm torn between my own desire for lasting relationship bliss and my desire to preserve the most important friendship in my life. —Something Has to Give Submit Your Own Question to a Therapist Your friend is going to be hurt. When you made the choice to start hanging out with your best friend’s ex without telling her, that’s when you made the decision to hide your actions, and possibly your feelings, from her. On some level you must have known that she would be bothered by it, and you chose not to tell her.

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  • I don’t say this to judge or to blame, but I think it is important to be clear about what has been happening.


    Dating your friend's best friend

    Dating your friend's best friend

    Dating your friend's best friend

    She will very likely be devastated and feel betrayed by her best friend and by the man she thought she had a lasting future with. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I think you already know this. You feel this man could be the love of your life, and you’ve chosen to begin a relationship with him.

    Dating your friend's best friend

    I think what you are looking for is a way to share this with your friend without losing her friendship. I think you are also hoping to alleviate some guilt you may be feeling about hurting someone you care deeply about. DATING BASED REALITY SHOWS You can spend time and mental energy finding all kinds of justifications for your choices, but that’s not going to be helpful, ultimately.


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